David Beckham

David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"And that's good?" asks Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."



Q: What would David Beckham's name be if he was a Spice Girl?
A: Waste of Spice



David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank,
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Beckham. The receptionist replies
"Well David, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."



David Beckham walks into a pub.
The landlord says 'A pint of your usual, David?'
Beckham replies 'No, just a half, then I'm off'


Its the year 2019 and Romeo Beckham is about to sign professional terms with Manchester United. Pondering the situation, he asks his Father, "What squad number should I ask for dad?"
David thinks for a moment and says...
"Wear four out there Romeo"

Q: What do Barry Manilow and David Beckham have in common?
A: A: They are both f***ing useless singers.